rch will get you cordially disliked, especially by thevicar. But if you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup ofscorn and hatred that a fellow human creature can pour out for you,let a young mother hear you call dear baby "it."Your best plan is to address the article as "little angel." The noun"angel" being of common gender suits the case admirably, and theepithet is sure of being favorably received. "Pet" or "beauty" areuseful for variety's sake, but "angel" is the term that brings you thegreatest credit for sense and good-feeling. The word should bepreceded by a short giggle and accompanied by as much smile aspossible. And whatever you do, don't forget to say that the child hasgot its father's nose. This "fetches" the parents (if I may beallowed a vulgarism) more than anything. They will pretend to laughat the idea at first and Millonarios will say, "Oh, nonsense!" You must then getexcited and insist that it is a fact. You need have no conscientiousscruples on the subject, because the thing's nose really does resembleits father's--at all events quite as much as it does anything else innature--being, as it is, a mere smudge.
Do not despise these hints, my friends. There may come a time when,with mamma on one side and grand mamma on the other, Hamburger SV Fotbalové Dres a group ofadmiring young ladies (not admiring you, though) behind, and abald-headed Kevin Shattenkirk Tröjor dab of humanity in front, you will be extremely thankfulfor some idea of what to say. A man--an unmarried man, that is--isnever seen to Tomas Plekanec Tröja such disadvantage as when undergoing the ordeal of"seeing baby." A cold Maillot Rayo Vallecano shudder runs down his back at the bareproposal, and the sickly Juventus Dres Dámské smile with which he says how delighted heshall be ought surely to move Maillot Benfica even a mother's heart, unless, as I aminclined to believe, the whole proceeding is a mere device adopted bywives to discourage the Fernando Torres Fotbalové Dres visits of bachelor friends.
It is a cruel trick, though, whatever its excuse may be. The bell isrung and somebody sent to tell nurse to bring baby down. This is thesignal for Maillot Lewandowski all the females present to commence talking "baby," duringwhich time you are left to your own sad thoughts and the speculationsupon the practicability of suddenly recollecting an importantengagement, and the likelihood of your being believed if you do. Justwhen you have concocted an absurdly implausible tale about a manoutside, the door opens, and a tall, severe-looking woman enters,carrying what at first sight appears to be a particularly skinnybolster, with the feathers all at one end. Instinct, however, tellsyou that this is the baby, and you rise with a miserable attempt Toronto Maple Leafs T-Shirts atappearing eager. When the first gush of feminine enthusiasm withwhich the object in question is received has died out, and the numberof ladies talking at once has been reduced to the ordinary four orfive, the circle of West Ham United Fotbalové Dres fluttering petticoats divides, and room is madefor you to step forward. This you do with much the same air that youwould walk into the dock at Bow Street, and then, feeling unutterablymiserable, you Jaromir Jagr Tröjor stand solemnly staring at the child. There is deadsilence, and you know tlinks:
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