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The relief of breathing the fresh air again was indescribable. If I had not escaped the miasma and oppression of a prison, I certainly had left behind me influences of darkness and sinister suggestion, which, in the light of the calm moonbeams that I found flooding the world without, had the effect upon me of a vanished horror. Only I was still haunted by that last phrase which I had heard uttered, “Don’t go by the way of Orchard Street,” an injunction which simply meant, “Don’t go with that document to the lawyer’s to-night.”
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But once again in my familiar study, I became conscious of a strong dissatisfaction with myself. Indeed, I may speak more forcibly and say I was conscious of a loss of trust in my own manhood, which was at once so new and startling that it was as if a line had been drawn between my past and present. This was due to the discovery I had made at the moment I had confronted Dwight Pollard — a discovery so humiliating in its character that it had shaken me, body and soul. I had found Ondrej Palat Jersey in the light of that critical instant that I, David Barrows, was a coward! Bluzy Z Kapturem Yes, gloss it over as I would, the knowledge was deep in my mind that I lacked manhood’s most virile attribute; that peril, real or imaginary, could awaken in me fear; and that the paling cheek and trembling limbs of which I had been so bitterly conscious at that instant were but Nike Air Zoom Damskie the outward signs of a weakness that extended deep down into my soul.
It was a revelation calculated to stagger any man, how much more, then, one who had so relied upon his moral powers as to take upon himself the sacred name of minister. But this was not all. I had not only found myself to be a coward, but I had shown myself such to another’s eyes. Bryan Bickell Jersey By the searching look which Dwight CG Naiset Victoria Parka Pollard had given me before he spoke, and the quiet, half-disdainful curve which his lips took at the close of his scrutiny, I was convinced that he Moncler Kamizelka Kobiety saw the defect in my nature, and despised me for it, even while he condescended to offer me the protection which my fears seemed to demand. Or New Tall Škornji 1852 — the thought could come now that I was at home, Colin Wilson Jersey and had escaped the dangers lying in wait for me on the road to my duty — Air Max87+90 Damskie he had made use of my weakness to gain his own ends. The carrying of that New Balance 576 Mens document to Mr. Nicholls meant loss of property to them all perhaps, and he had but taken means, consistent with his character, to insure the delay which his brother had possibly planned to gain in some more reprehensible manner. And I had yielded to my fears and let his willinks:

  
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