| Says Michael Benjamin The Christian-minded individual, versed in the scriptures, would remember that God worked feverishly for seven days to fashion a world out of virtually nothing. He began by creating the heaven and earth. “And the earth was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep and God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light.Eventually,Wholesale NFL Jerseys, God decided to make man in his own image ‘after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle and over all the earth and over every creeping thing upon the earth.The earth was beautifully made by God’s own hands but somehow the Creator felt that something was lacking; something that would beautify his world with a special purpose. After much pondering God decided what it was. He placed Adam in a deep sleep in order to extract one of his ribs.The good Lord then used the rib to fashion woman. Afterwards, Adam had proclaimed, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman.”Even though I have had a solid Christian upbringing and could recall a few scriptures, I cannot remember any part of the Holy Bible that advocates violence as a means of socialisation or conflict resolution. I also cannot remember reading any portion of the scriptures that supports wife beating as a correctional tool in marital failures.I do remember in Ephesians 5:25 when the good Lord admonishes men to love their wife as God loved the church.A surreptitious glance at the numerous cases of domestic abuse; many of them culminating in death for the women, contradict the very principles of God’s word.Recently, during a heated debate among some friends, one of them pointed to a part of the Bible that gives credence to the vile abuse suffered by women at the hand of men. I was directed to Ephesians 5; a verse I believe that too many men quote to their wives without any thought to context:“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything”Some men purposely cling to that verse while pointedly ignoring a succeeding one that says “However, each one of you also must love your wife as you love yourself, and the wife must respect her husband.”Having perused the biblical take on the matter I am forced to ponder, why do men abuse their spouses? What form of rationale does a man employ to brutalise a woman after suspecting her of infidelity or even after she shirks her wifely responsibilities of cooking dinner, washing his clothes or even cleaning up the house?Locally, women have formed groups to find strategies to counteract such abuses or preferably to cause their abolishment. Despite such strong advocacy the death toll continues and hardly a day passes without the sordid report of the murder of women at the hands of jealous and enraged husbands or mates, decorating the newspapers.Strangely though, while women groups are fighting strongly for the eradication of violence among ‘the fairer sex,’ there are some women who view the beatings and ill-treatment as a prerequisite to consummate love. “Girl last night he put some blows pon me; it worth money,” one woman said to a friend.“Well chile, ya know that he gaffa luv ya or he would not go to dem lengths,” the other woman prophesied.Notwithstanding such foolhardiness, there are women that despise the men who resort to violence to ‘keep them in their place,’ yet refuse to leave the abusive home.Earlier discussions with women in this category uncovered the shocking reality that these women feel vulnerable because, as most admit, “Is he I does depend pon foh a square and a soft.”In other words, these women are saying that any act that angers their domineering spouse could mean a sound licking, deprivation of a meal and if they rebel, evacuation from the home.There are other angles to the debate; women are an integral part of the socialization process. Many of these very women exercise special care in the upbringing of their little girls while allowing the male to roam wantonly while ‘sowing his oats.’I have heard women boasting of the prowess of their ‘boychild,’ referring to them as ‘rams,’ as they plunder and destroy the lives of other people’s ‘gal pickney.’ Yet these very women wonder aloud how men could be so callous in their dealings with other women.As a man I have deep remorse of the attitude of some men to women. Adversely, I detest the compliance of some women who seem to think that the blows are a sure sign of love. There are others who nurture great fear of facing the world alone after they would have incurred the wrath of their spouses and he in return unceremoniously evict them from the home ‘all in the name of love.’I nurture great fear of the courts! There are times after infractions with other road users; I opt to settle the matter there and then since I dread having to face magistrates and judges, some of whom are very rigid and unbending.Having said that, I would willingly appear in any court of law to defend any action I may take if my daughter’s spouse, be it husband or boyfriend, resorts to blows to settle any dispute among them.Likewise, I tutor my son on proper methods of conflict resolution while teaching him the ‘virtues of gentlemanly conduct when dealing with womenfolk. I have never seen my father strike my mother and I can dare any woman to accuse me of such behaviours during my amorous life.This admission is not to hold me aloft of other man but to highlight the importance of proper socialisation. My parents drummed the virtues of respect for the ‘weaker sex’ in my head.In the absence of rounded socialisation, men tend to develop unorthodox means of conflict resolution within the home. These men obviously lack the technique of resolving differences with their spouses through constructive dialogue. My mother used to refer to such scenarios as ‘a word and a blow.’ These days women are no longer safe.Before, they were scared to leave the home for fear of encountering the assassins and murderers. Today, the murderer was once thought to be lurking on the streets. He is now within the confines of the home.The stringent work of the officials within the Human Services Ministry and other non-governmental groups to enactment requisite laws to stamp out these vile behaviours must be lauded.However, those women who sit in these abusive relationships are the voices that must be heard. These women must immediately debunk violent acts on their person, immediately vacating the situation as soon as it crops up.There must be alternatives to such foolish male dominance. For its part, the government, through the Ministry of Human Services must work stringently towards the establishment of special courts to expeditiously address these matters. Women must also change their thought patterns that they are less loved unless their respective spouse rain blows on their hapless bodies.Like I said, my daughter has only to confide in me that her spouse lashed out at her. God never meant it to be so and neither should man. If it happens on Monday morning, by Monday afternoon I would voluntarily appear before a judge possibly charged with assault with a deadly weapon at one end of the continuum, or murder at the other.I would do no less, just to preserve my daughter’s dignity and send home a strong message to those bullies in trousers. |
